I Eat Fruit Flavored Ice Cream & Pretend It is Healthy...

True story...

People, can you believe we are already in week 34? Because it is really starting to freak me out a little!

Would you like to see a picture of the ever expanding tummy? Here is a pic of me on Sunday at the end of week 33:

I look alot bigger in real life. Honest. I think that is because in real life I slouch alot, which really accentuates the tummy area, but in photos you usually stand up strait. Next time I will try to remember to slouch, so you can get the true effect of how I really look most of the time.

I can't believe how soon the little man is going to be here! It is getting so close. I think that one of the phrases I say most commonly these days is, "I just thought i'd feel more ready." In response everyone always says you can't really ever be ready. This is true, but I thought that I would FEEL ready, even if I wasn't really, & I don't. Well today one of my co-workers gave me this paper & on it it has the "Are you ready to be a mother? Test."

Here are a few of the tests for your reading pleasure. My favorite was the feeding test.

Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and then rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayon. Place a fish stick behind the couch & leave it there all summer.

Toy Test: Obtain a 55 gallon drum of LEGOs. Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. If you step on one, do not scream, you will wake your child up at night.

Grocery Store Test: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

Feeding Test: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

Night Test: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with eight to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8pm begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these until 4am. Set alarm for 5 am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look cheerful.

Final Assignment: Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

I loved this test, mostly because it made me realize that I really won't ever feel ready. I am far to much of a neat freak/control freak/selfish person to ever be ready for this task, but I'm doing it anyway. Because I know it's right. Because I have faith in God's plan. Because I'm not alone in this thing. Because I already love this little guy so much, he is my buddy, & if he stopped kicking or something happened to him I don't know how I'd ever be okay again.

So let's get ready to rock & roll people! Because he's only got 6 weeks left to cook in there, give or take :).

Life is Beautiful

I am feeling very grateful today, very positive, very fresh & I just wanted to remember it. Death is an interesting thing, and so is human nature. On Saturday after I heard about Bo I was devastated. It was hard to imagine doing anything or feeling completely good again. Nothing else seemed important & all I really wanted to do was cry until there was nothing left. I wanted to be alone. To mourn. On Sunday night I opened up to Bryce & talked about how I was feeling. Which felt surprisingly good. I told him how it felt like no matter what else I was doing what happened was always what was really on my mind. Even if I was laughing at something that was happening it felt hollow & forced. But then, I wrote down a bunch of memories I had of Bo. The memories I have are all positive. I read other peoples memories. I prayed about it all the time. Things started to turn around to where I still thought about it constantly, but it was more about Bo's life, & not his death. More peace, less pain. The funeral yesterday was really beautiful. The spirit was so strong & the music & talks were perfect. It granted me not only peace & closure, but perspective. When I was driving away the world felt like a beautiful & happy place. Hearing about Bo's struggles & the way he continued to serve, continued to be positive, continued to put others first made me realize how often in my life I complain about the smallest things. How often I feel sorry for myself when I am SO blessed. How often I put myself first. How much room I have to become better, & what a blessing this time we have on earth is. I continue to think about Bo often & those thoughts now lead me to think about our Savior. How blessed I am to know the truth. Each day is a new day, a day to repent, to become better, to help another, to reach toward my potential. The world feels bright & full of promise. I feel empowered & strengthened. I'm so grateful for Bo's example & I know that I will always remember him & that his memory will always make me push to be better. What a wonderful gift this life is. I want to make the most of every moment.

Remembering A Friend

Bo,

I can still remember the first time I met you. We were coming over to your house on a Sunday for dessert. You & John were in the basement watching the living scriptures videos. You guys were teaching us who the characters were "that guy is Lamoni..." I was five years old.

After that I can remember playing tag in your front yard & a million other night games.

I particularly remember playing a game where we were all animals, & we picked which animals we were going to be off of Johns national geographics. We played around the huge weight set in your basement, & an imaginary stream was the dividing line. We were always a team. Jessica & Bo vs. Kelsey & John. I like to think we always won, but I don't really remember that part.

I remember the future missionary tag you always wore to church.

I can remember staying up all night on New Years Eve & eating tons of junk & rewinding "A Goofy Movie" a million times to dance to that weird song they play before the movie.

I can remember laughing our heads off at group piano lessons because John kept farting.

I remember how much better you were at piano than I was.

Later I remember you guys practicing the piano a ton in exchange for something from your parents. I think it was dirt bikes?

I remember digging a sand castle at Uba lake.

I remember moving away to Texas & moving back home & nothing had really changed.

I remember playing truth or dare & you always picked dare.

I remember when all my friends got into boys & everyone was jealous because we were friends with you & John. I remember you felt more like brothers.

I remember hiking Mt. Timpanogus.

I remember a double date to temple square where John made you go back up to your dates door after we dropped her off because you gave her a handshake goodnight :).

I remember you winning the school election.

I remember going boating.

I remember as we got older after family home evening with our families the four of us would go downstairs and talk about life.

I remember lots of fun times swimming.

I remember you always making everyone laugh.

I can remember how much you loved your family & how you lit up when you talked about John & Kayla, or Bridger, or your parents.

I don't remember you complaining or ever being negative. I don't remember you ever saying anything bad about anyone else.

You were always a good example to those around you. I am proud to be your friend.

I love you Bo. I know that I have no idea what you have been through these last few years, but I find peace in knowing you are out of pain now & again with our Savior who you love so much.

We will all miss you.

Love, Jess

30 Week Update :)

I really can't believe we have less than ten weeks to go! This whole experience is going by so fast! Here's to the next ten weeks going smoothly & a family picture where we can see the cute little guy in real life!

Me on Sunday, the 30 Week Mark!

Our Little Family

Les Mis, Mom's Concert, Some Random Bowling

My beautiful mother sings in a choir & every spring (& every Christmas) they put on wonderful shows. It was so fun to go down with the fam & see her sing at temple square. Also awesome was that we got to meet up with Ab, Greg & Riggs for awhile before the show but I didn't get a picture darnit! She was a rock star, & the little guy LOVED the concert. He would not stop dancin around, except when grandma Kim was not on stage...of course.

...The Chorale...

...Bryce & I seem to struggle to take a good picture at the same time. It's becoming a joke in my family :)...

...The best one...

We also had a recent bowling adventure with my family over Memorial Day weekend, would you like to see some pictures??

...Jess & Bryce...

...Paige & Jordan...

...Mom & Dad...

...Tanner & Jeff, you can always count on Tanner for a weird face...

...Mom & Tanner in action...

...Jess & Daddy...

...I gutterballed it...

...Bryce & his crazy spin move...

...The ladies...

& I've saved the best for last...

For Christmas, my parents gave us all tickets to Les Mis (the traveling broadway company). I grew up listening to this, I have every song memorized & have ALWAYS wanted to see it live. We were all looking forward to it soo much & let me tell you, it did not disappoint. The only bummer is that we really missed Kels & Ryan who couldn't come because of their little summer adventure. My parents took us to Tucanos first which was so yummy, & our seats were litterally 2nd row, best seats in the house. Bryce & I are still listening to the cd's everyday & I am still losing sleep pondering on the incredible messages & questions that the production inspires. Here's a few pics!

...We didn't match on purpose...

...At dinner...

...On the way in to the theater Paiges heel broke off & we stuck it back on with chewed gum...hahahaha...

...The whole crew outside the theater...

...I love him...

...This pic of the stage was literally taken from my seat!...